Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Okay. So I haven't been blogging - but no one can sue me (it isn't exactly an obligation of some kind). I'll blog when I have the time and when I found some interesting topics to.. um... talk about I guess. Haha! I know my last post was rather pathetic, but not having a pet cat or something that can respond to my rants and questions kinda takes a toll on you. >___<
This I took at the entrance of the female toilet in my cousin's school during a fun fair. I have something to say about this, but I can't help wondering why the teachers there haven't? Poor kids. (Female ==> PerEmpuan).
I was on a KL Rapid bus, waiting for the driver to step back into the bus and take us back to Bukit Bintang. Looking around, I noticed that the bus looked... more dirty than usual?
Pfft. Rubbish. Okay. So where is this bus driver? *examines bus over again*
WTF.
OOKAY. A bit disturbed, but heck. At least some people are doing it safely. On the bus, I'm not too sure about that. Or maybe someone thought of this as a good joke. Hmm.
On my way to catching the bus that would bring me all the way to dead-town CyberJ...
Wait, how many hours are there in a day, actually?! Too bad it was quite early in the morning, the shop wasn't open...
And further down the road, where there was a junction... I was waiting on one side of the road - waiting to cross, that is. My curious eyes lingered around the place, when it just occured to me, WHAT really is the name of this blardy road?!
Well anyway, apart from all those crap-worthy stuff I've been up to, I'm drowning in essays and such. I have to go out and look for some form of news (I was telling my course mates that we should go hire a guy to go bite a dog, since that IS news) for our assignment in Journalism class this Saturday. Gaaaah. And there's a presentation up this Thursday for FTV, and two essays due for Information Age, and another one for Islamic Studies. I'm Ok, I'm OK! >___<
Oh yes. I've kind of come up with quite a theory out of some observation work. Hot guys are out of my reach because they are gay. OK guys are also out of reach for me because they are taken. Those with silly punchlines and actions are the ones that are left behind, and I'm not THAT desperate. I'll just sit and wait for the OK ones to 'break-free', if it ever happens. :) *gets killed by other girls*
OKAY OKAY! Hey, it's the truth right?
Since I'm feeling like it, I'll write up on some of my mis-adventures here so far with the whackeds.
1. Random guys with movie-pick-up-lines that I never thought anyone would use.
(a)Is your father a thief? Because I think he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
(b) I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
(c) Have you any insurance? Coz if you were with me, you'll be fully covered.
2. Attention-seeking stalkers
Second week of classes:
Azzie sits in a bus that can accomodate 40 people, but it is known that only 10-15 people take the bus from KL to CyberJ. Since the seats are arranged in twos, Azzie places her ass on one, and her bag and laptop on another. Suddenly, out of nowhere...
Mr. Stalk: HIIII Azzie! (wait, how did he know my name?!) You know what just occured to me some bla bla bla (all was a blur, I was paying attention to what he was doing rather than what he was saying)
Azzie: HEY! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO DO?! MY LAPTOP IS RIGHT OVER THERE!!!
Mr. Stalk: Oh, I just wanted to sit next to you.
=_________________________=
Azzie: There's so many other seats. *looks around*
Mr. Stalk: Oh OK. Anyway, bla bla bla was bla blaing away... (takes the pair of seats in the same row opposite mine)
*Azzie takes out Book of Black Belt Sudoku, tries to occupy self with something, while Mr. Stalk sings from Spanish to French to Italian to English to Aladdin's 'A Whole New World" - it wasn't pretty at all, imagine a guy squealing suddenly to imitate a girl's voice? Not in tune either...*
After 20 minutes or so...
Mr. Stalker: Azzie. HEY! AZZIE!!! LOOK! What do you think?
*Azzie looks up*: Uh... don't mind me saying, but why is the back part of your tie far longer than the one in the front? Shouldn't it be the other way round?
Mr. Stalker: Oh, this was the fashion in the 20s. All the army men tied their ties like this, by Jupiter.
*Azzie goes back to book... until she couldn't help noticing about 10 minutes later, the person opposite her was taking off his belt. WTF*
*Mr. Stalk tucks out his shirt, and puts his belt over the shirt over his trousers. Azzie tries not to look*
Mr. Stalk: Azzie. Hey. AZZIE! AZZIE!!! LOOK! What do you think?
Azzie, in mind: WTF. Physically doesn't respond.
After 5 minutes or so...
Mr. Stalk: Azzie. Hey. AZZIE! LOOK!!!!
*Azzie looks around* Mr Stalk: Know what this is? *waves a harmonica*
Azzie: A harmonica?
Mr. Stalk: Guess where I got it from!
Azzie: Err... Petaling Street?
Mr. Stalk: HUUUUUUUH! How COULD YOU?! I got it from the GIANT SUPERMARKET!!! *starts wheezing in and out of the harmonica, sounding like a retarded donkey*
Azzie, in mind: FUCK. When is this bus ever going to reach college?!
IN COLLEGE - THANK GOODNESS.
*Azzie goes off to Wings Coffee. It is now 9.15am, class starts 1030. Buys a muffin and tea, sits alone at a table for four. Pulls out one chair for laptop, one chair for own ass. After taking a seat, Azzie notices that one of the other chairs started withdrawing itself...*
Mr. Stalk: HI AZZIE! I don't have class till the afternoon!
*Mr. Stalk plants his gigantic arse on the chair and bangs his mug on the table*
Azzie, in mind: WTF.*eats muffin, swallows hot tea, runs off - gtg for class, konon.
LUNCHTIME
After buying food, Azzie settles at a table with another 4 chairs. One for the bag and laptop, one for her ass...
Once settled, Azzie notices another chair withdrawing itself. "Fuck."
Mr. Stalk: Hey Azzie! I bought FISH AND CHIPS! *plants his fat arse on the chair* Fuck.
Mr. Stalk: I don't think this fish is fresh. Why if they were serious about fish and chips they would la la la la la la la (all about his fish and chips)
Azzie, in mind: FUCK.
Mr. Stalk: And did you know the Russians bla bla bla bla bla WAR bla bla bla CANNON bla bla MACHINE GUNS bla bla bla....
Azzie, in mind: FUCK. The vegetables are irritatingly yellow enough. WTF!
*Azzie gets up, and says she has another class to attend to - RUNS to computer lab*
TIME TO GO HOME - BUS IS 45 MINUTES LATE. DAMN.
While waiting...
Azzie, and J, obviously the both of us were thinking of the same thing: Mr. Stalk is quiet. Gosh. He could actually be normal.
Mr. Stalk:!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&*((*&^%$#@#$%^&*((&^%$#@!@#$%^&*((*&^%$#@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%&()(*&^%$#@!@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(&^%$#@!@#$%^!!!!!"
*Azzie and J were both frozen and stunned*
J: Mr. Stalk, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!
Mr. Stalk: Oh, I was just rehearsing one of the most used phrases during the war by the Russians in the past. No big, yeah!
*Azzie and J give one another funny looks, and then looks around to see that everyone has their eyes on Mr. Stalk with a funny sort of expression*
*Mr. Stalk then whips out a pair of binoculars.* Mr. Stalk: The bus isn't here yet. Nope. Not in sight, still looking, still looking...
*Azzie slaps forehead, in mind: DUUUH. I Could say the same thing without the binoculars OK?!*
Bus then is in sight... Mr. Stalk: OH! BUS IN SIGHT BUS IN SIGHT! THANKS TO MY BINOCULARS WE'RE ALL GOING HOME!!!
*Azzie literally falls on the floor laughing her ass off, gasping for air after that*
Mr. Stalk: OH NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! AZZIE ARE YOU OKAY?! OH BY JUPITER..."
*we all board on the bus... and Mr. Stalk tries to bring something about to chat...*
Azzie: LOOK! I've got an extra bad headache now, OK? I really need to rest!
Mr. Stalk: Okay. I'll wake you up when we reach MJ OK?
*Azzie sleeps*
A FEW DAYS LATER...
Azzie is in Wings Coffee, 3pm, eating cake and having coffee. Yum. Chocolate. I'm in heaven. Sort of.
Mr. Stalker: AZZIE! OI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? HOW DID YOU GET HERE?! YOU WEREN'T ON THE BUS THIS MORNING! I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T HAVE CLASSES ON FRIDAYS! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS?!
Azzie: KEEP your voice down! Gah. I've class on Friday, ok? but it only starts at 4, so why do I have to catch the bus early in the morning to linger around college till 4? It's the one and only class I got today...
Mr. Stalk pulls a chair, and sits. WTF. MY cake. I want to eat, my cake, in heaven. This is punishment.
Mr. Stalk: THERE'S BAD NEWS! I MUST SAY! *bangs fist on table*
*Azzie raises eyebrow*
Mr. Stalk: There won't be a bus service from and to MJ starting tomorrow, that's what the bus driver said this morning! It's bad! It's BAD I TELL YOU! BUT I TELL YOU!!! *bangs fist on table again* I AIN'T GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN, NO I AIN'T! I WILL MAKE SURE THERE ALWAYS WILL BE A BUS TO TAKE US TO COLLEGE EVERYDAY!
*Azzie lowers head and eyes cake, bloody embarrassed as people have ceased their activities in Wings Cafe to see what the commotion is all about*
BUS RIDE BACK
Azzie: J, is it true that the bus won't be picking us up and sending us back from and to MJ starting tomorrow?
J: It's true, that's what the bus driver said this morning. But student services say that is not the case. We'll ask the bus driver again later ok?
LATER...
Bus driver: Alaaa, itu bas driver pagi tadi sudah sot, mana boleh macam tu? Masih lah, you all kan dah bayar tu? Apa pula ni...
Mr. Stalk: WE'RE SAVED! SAVED BY JUPITER! YEAH!!! AZZIE AZZIE AZZIE!!! THE BUS IS STILL GOING TO PICK US UP AND SEND US BACK!
Azzie, in mind: THAT'S IT YOU.... *silent treatment*
A rather long story, don't you think? It still goes on till this day, though I've actually told him off for egging on me so much. At one point he actually fainted in the computer lab, apparently he has some medical condition, and I felt bad, somewhat. But later on during the bus ride back, he couldn't help blowing his little drama out of proportion. He said I would have screamed my head off if I saw him fainting (riiiiight, I was there, sonny), and that he was having a mild seizure before he blacked out, describing how it all went down. Hmm. If you had seizure, would you be able to remember that you went through it? Gah. He also pointed out he was suffering from epilepsy.
Well it's not so bad now, I've a strategy. Earphones and an MP3 phone does you wonders. You can look innocent at the same time choose not to answer when being called. :)
3. Cheeky OLD MEN do exist
I was walking around, on the sides of the road, in the shopping mall, just enjoying the buzz... when suddenly... what seems like a cat mewing...
"Hiiiiii~"
That came from an old man, who's greying in the hair, wrinkled all over his face, and yet you can see one side of his thin lips curled, with a cheeky look to follow. I haven't encountered only one or two, mind you. =________________=
4. New 'pick-up' tactics
(a) Walking against the direction you are walking and suddenly takes a brief swing in front of you and says "HI", and then quickly walks away.
(b) Goes near you, uses one of their arms, and waves or jabs it directly in your face, as if they are going to hit you, but apparently not. Then smiles, says hi, and quickly disappears.
(c) Takes a book and puts it right in your face, as if wanting to suffocate you. Then takes book away, laughs, smiles and disappears.
=________________________________=
Life's kinda fucked up, eh? (or maybe I'm concentrating too much on that little black dot on that white piece of paper? I don't think so ahahah)
2:52 PM Azzie's got style
