Monday, April 24, 2006
Well, let me review what I've to submit or purchase by the end of this week:
1. Colour wheel (I can't paint when I'm tired, and the poster paint should not be too dilute or too concentrated as the result will turn out to be shit-worthy).
2. Human Comm. Essay (data/research - cause and effect)
3. Colour gradient/compatibility chart
4. Malaysian Studies 'Independence Hero' essay
5. Questionnaires, research and all sorts for Intergrated project
6. Auto Flash adaptor/sensor for studio photography
7. Two models and two products for studio photography
Apart from all that, there's something else that has a bigger effect on me and is constantly questioning itself. It is making me feel guilty because I do not share this with my family but with my close friends who I'd know would be happy for me about it. Mum is unhappy when I got a chance at it because she thinks the company would end up exploiting us all at the end of it, and dad... well, let's just say he's in the dark about it.
Modelling. Not that I've done any of it yet, we're still 'in-training' after passing the interview (and officially hired). IMO this modelling agency I got hired with isn't a very well known one, and for now, we're receiving 'how to walk-the-walk' lessons. It was only yesterday (literally) when I received my first official training. For the very first time in my life, I've managed to obtain a wound on one of my toes on my right foot (specifically, the third) due to much walking practice in a pair of three-inch heels. As for the walks, they are not easy at all, plus, there's so many different kinds-I already had difficulty remembering the first and only one I was taught yesterday.
Somehow I also see why people say models have this statement that goes, 'Thin is beautiful'. I don't know how some of the current models there even manage to walk, being so prick thin it looks like one hug or glomp could break them into pieces in an instant. I know I shouldn't be comparing myself either, because it's not a healthy image, but when I can't help it, I feel like an elephant among the flamingoes. They kept telling me to 'tuck in my tummy' (=__________________=) which made me feel a little bit more close to the edge.
To make matters worse, I did something that upset my younger sister. Dad bought her a 2GB memory card just yesterday to replace her 512MB memory card for her phone. Dad told me not to delete the files in the 512 just yet. So, I obeyed and waited till she came back home from my grandmother's place (after her usual 'read-the-Quran' sessions during the weekend). She hogged the computer straight after, and this was when assumptions should not have been taken. I was halfway through with my colour wheel when I gave up and thought of re-doing it another day as it turned out to look like sheeeeet when I decided to admit that I was feeling really tired. Then again, I was unhappy to the fact that my day turned out to be rather unproductive - I then shooed Ween off the computer so that I could at least set some questions for a questionnaire (part of my intergrated project). At the same time, I recalled her saying 'You can have my old memory card', I made a grab for it and THOUGHT that she had saved all the files that she wanted - apparently not. Before I knew it, as I trashed the files, she came to me and bombarded me, in an instant, I was shouted and screamed at. I was terribly shocked, and now I feel so awful.
One bad day, and I have no idea how to talk to her because I really hated the way she just exploded at me. I was frightened and I don't know how to respond to it.
5:12 PM Azzie's got style
